8:50am At Cosi - Two guys waiting in...
Well-Dressed Douchebag: Man what a weekend!
Slick-haired Idiot: What'd you do?
Well-Dressed Douchebag: Hit a few clubs, got shitfaced and got felt up at a bar on Saturday.
Slick-haired Idiot: What?
Well-Dressed Douchebag: Yeah, I was getting drinks at the bar when some chick next to me slid in and grabbed my balls.
Slick-haired Idiot: You're kidding me.
Well-Dressed Douchebag: She was so trashed, I don't even know if she knew what she was doing. She just decided my balls were on the menu.
Slick-haired Idiot: We gotta go drinking more often.
Well-Dressed Douchebag: I don't know, she was hefty. It's not like anyone could see so I let her grab a little, got my drinks and went back to the table.
Slick-haired Idiot: Nice! wait, did you have to walk back to the table sporting wood?
Well-Dressed Douchebag: Nah, it was dark, no one could see. Besides, it went down pretty quick when I saw her face.
Slick-haired Idiot: What club was this?
Well-Dressed Douchebag: It doesn't matter, I'm not going back there again. Getting felt up by a fat chick isn't my idea of a raging Saturday night.
Feb 18th