This probably won’t last but it’s full of awesome:
-His unusual name actually stemmed from an incident at a mexican restaurant where he was reported to have eaten 34 tacos in one sitting. From this day the eight-year old gradually became referred to as Taco Wallace instead of his original name Chimichanga Wallace.
-Most football fans know Taco Wallace by the number eighty-two displayed proudly on his jersey. His original number was eight. He changed it to eighty-two when he displayed an eighty-two inch vertical while jumping off his knees at the 2003 NFL Scouting Combine. After the amazing vertical he showcased his speed by running a 0.31 40-yd dash which led many scouts to predict top-5 selection. Unfortunately he was named Taco so he dropped to the seventh round where the Seahawks may have received the steal of the 2003 draft.
-Tired of subpar quality fast-food, Wallace opened a rival fast-food mexican restaurant. His obsession with quality may have been short-sighted though when advertisements revealed that a single taco platter was priced at $34.95 The venture was a stunning failure. The only patrons were Matt Hasselbeck and Walter Jones. Matt liked it which led him to seek involvement with the Chunky Soup franchise.
-Believed to have received his Master’s Degree from Hogwartz Academy when he realized Mike Holmgren had just been wearing a cloak and telling him spells that he has made up.
-Taco Wallace made a bet with Darrell Jackson during a 2004 game vs. the San Francisco 49ers, Taco bet that he could produce more yards and receptions than Darrell. Taco proceeded to defecate himself, making it so that no defender would come near him. He set a single game record of 22 receptions that day.
-Taco Wallace’s first job was as an intern at IGUANA Studios where he coined the term Boomshakalaka
-Taco is currently pursuing a career with the NAFL’s New Orleans Blazing Bulldogs as a mascot wrangler. His job duties include coordinating the halftime show. The Blazing Bulldogs light a bulldog on fire and let it run across the field before extinguishing it, only to set the same dog on fire the following week. This may lead to a new nickname for Taco sometime in the future.
- Currently out of organized football. Wallace has rumored to attempt a comeback when he feels the time is right and the mood is “muy picante”.